To Whom It May Concern – A Letter

A letter from the life on Earth to a careless landlord who continues to let things fall apart.

To Whom it May Concern,

	We regret to inform you that the living conditions have deteriorated to a point where a formal written complaint must be made. We began living here just as the weather was warming up and things were new and interesting. Our neighbors were hunters at the time, which always concerned us, but we kept our distance and things were fine. Then they moved out and a tyrant in and he started ordering us around. It was a bit disturbing when his brother killed him, and then his girlfriend killed herself, but things kind of settled down for a while. By this point we started seeing some upgrades, which were nice at first, but after several years we’d like to list our grievances. The first bit was the freezer, we noticed that it wouldn’t keep any ice frozen. Then our fridge was warmer than normal in the summers. Things completely went south when our faucets began to leak, the heater wouldn’t stop running, and the stove that’s been on fire for a week! I know you’re probably thinking this is some kind of hoax, or that it wasn’t your fault, it’s normal wear and tear, but I assure you we’ve had the place inspected. Now, things aren’t all lost, and most of what we have can be salvaged, but we have to act quickly. My suggestion would be to install some brand-new windows, insulated from the elements. And of course, these outlets need repaired, every time I plug in I get a nasty shock. How about some new appliances as well, you know those new energy efficient kind, my utility bill could really use a break. We really appreciate everything you’ve done for us, but if things don’t change, I fear we really must be going. Please send word with your decision, we’ll be waiting anxiously and if you need anything, don’t hesitate to let us know. 

		Yours Kindly,
			Life on Earth

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